Dear readers,
It’s with great sadness that we share the passing of our beloved father. This blog meant so much to him and it was wonderful to see how happy it made him to write his stories, post pictures, and receive feedback.
Thank you so much for your support. We share again “My little story” which he wrote about his life. Humble, kind, funny, loving… we will cherish our memories with you dad and always honour you.
Platinum Boy, Platinum Girl, and Diamond Boy,
‘MY LITTLE STORY.’
(21,321 words) Written by Ken Hua 1st May 2008
1st revision 8th January 2011
2nd revision 18th December 2012
(1) The adventure of my parents from China to Vietnam.
Some time ago my children asked me to write some important events and experiences in my life. I hesitated at that time thinking that my family and I had not achieved much to write about. Recently, once again it was the encouragement of my children and a few close friends, then I decided to write the story in more details and I still call it “My Little Story.” because I like the title.
I was born in the third biggest city in North Vietnam, Nam Dinh of working class parents. I was born in 1943 and the 4th child in the family of one older brother, two older sisters and two younger sisters. When the Japanese forces started invading China in the North Eastern part of China and not long after they occupied the North Eastern part of China and the war spread rapidly. It seemed that the Japanese forces had the upper hand and their barbarian actions scared the ordinary Chinese people.
When the situation was getting very serious, our big family, consisting of my great grand parents, my grand parents, my five great uncles and aunties and a lot of uncles and aunties in Quangdong province in Southern China held an important meeting to discuss who would be leaving the country and moving southward to a completely foreign country called ‘Vietnam’. After the meeting, there were three great uncles & their family; my two uncles & families, my parents & my older brother would be southbound for Vietnam.
My parents, my older brother and the extended family were traveling on a wooden boat departing quietly and secretly from one of the ports in Quangdong province at night as not to disturb other people in case they might be discovered. They were disguised as fishermen. Since they were traveling on a small wooden boat, they had to bend or lying on the deck. The journey took more than three weeks.
Vietnam is situated at south of China. Vietnam had been under the Chinese sovereignty for more than one thousand years, so a lot of Vietnamese customs are quite similar to those of the Chinese people. If you look at the world map, Vietnam has the ‘S’ shape look; it has the coastal line from the north to south. It has a lot of natural resources such as coalmine and crude oil in the South China Sea. There is plenty of seafood along the coastlines. In the South in Mekong Delta the soil is rich and the farmers could get three crops a year.
I would like to mention that the Chinese and Vietnamese have lived together in harmony for years. They have very similar customs and appearance. For years, the Vietnamese were under the sovereignty of China and have been under a lot of Chinese influence; even its language and some of its cooking method have close links with the Chinese. Dated back to the ancient period, whenever there was wars in China, quite a few Chinese escaped from their ‘homeland’ to Vietnam for shelter and called it their new home and they mingled with the local people well. The Vietnamese people are very friendly.
As soon as the family members were settled, my two great uncles set up wholesale businesses in Hai Phong and Nam Dinh and afterwards they expanded their business to regional areas as well. My father was working for one of my two great uncles and my mother was doing housework.
(2) The history of North and South Vietnam.
When Vietnam was divided into two parts in 1954, the North belonged to Vietnamese Communists led by Ho Chi Minh and the South was a free democratic country called Republic of Vietnam. When the French were defeated in North Vietnam and withdrew to South Vietnam and they were trying to bring Boa Dai to power in South Vietnam. Boa Dai was a figurehead of the French. To stop the expansion of Communism, the Americans began getting involved in South Vietnam politically. They supported Ngo Dinh Diem, a Catholic and they held a general election. The result must have been prearranged and Ngo Dinh Diem became the President of South Vietnam.
According to the Geneva Agreement in 1954, the North and the South were to hold a general election in 1959 but the South Vietnamese government rejected the idea because they were being afraid that they might lose the election because the number of population in the North was more than in the South. Since then the North Vietnamese Communists started infiltrating South Vietnam and recruiting pro-Communist elements in the South.
The North Vietnamese Communists never admitted that they had forces operating in the South and insisted that the Communists operating in the South were called ‘The Liberation Front of South Vietnam.’ It was an up rising group in the South and had nothing to do with the North Vietnamese Communists. Both the North Vietnamese Communists and the Viet Cong in the South and their people were so indoctrinated by the slogan of Uncle Ho ‘There is nothing precious than independence and freedom.’ This slogan had attracted thousands and thousand followers. In other words, the Communists were experts at psychological warfare which the South Vietnamese government was lack of.
(3) Life in a foreign country.
In the mid 40’s, the Vietnamese Communists were operating secretly and they were scattered in the rural areas. Their purpose was to resist the French forces to protect the country from foreign rule. It was believed to be the early days of the Vietnamese Communists (they were called Viet Minh at that time) operating in Vietnam and they got their food supply, equipment and arms support from the Chinese Communists. One of the grocery stores managed by my father was in Nghia An City where my two younger sisters were born. I was only four year old at that time and I did not understand the difficult time my parents and my older brother and sisters had gone through.
Father was honest yet a little quick-tempered. He loved his family and his children particularly me. I still remember quite well that he usually took me to visit one of his close friends in the evening after dinner and he would stop at the shop to buy me some snacks. He also took me to see the lion dancing in the evening on the occasion of Moon Festival. I think in the olden days, the parents preferred boys to the girls. Father was an honest man but he lacked business skill, on the other hand mother was an intelligent lady and she was my father’s right hand assistant. I think I have been well looked after by my parents, brother and sisters.
My father was in charge of the outlet and he was responsible to collect some medical herbs and cereal products from the area. Since my father was doing well in business and my great uncle was delighted with his performance. He was allowed to do whatever he thought was beneficial to the company and the family enjoyed a better life for a short period of time.
About two years later, the Communist guerrillas and cadres occupied Nghia An City and ordered all residents to withdraw from the city to avoid French aircraft bombing. That was an order and all constructions including homes, business, stores whatsoever were destroyed completely by the Communists and Nghia An City was gone forever and it was just like a ghost city. My father was in great desperation with sudden change. He had to close down the business and lay off a number of employees who had been working for him for some time.
According to my older sister, there was a nice gentleman who was reluctant to leave us and he followed us to a small town after my father sold out some of the stock and the family left Nghia An City for good.
‘Misfortune does not come singly.’ We suffered a flood in the small town called ‘Cho Thuong.’ A few months after we arrived there because the small town was situated near a river. And when it was raining heavily and continuously for a month or so, the river would overflow. Because of the flood, some of the merchandizes were damaged and valueless causing loss to the company. So my parents decided to find another place to live and operate the business. Since my father had dealt with other businessmen and got advice from them, he decided to move to a city in upper land. The city was just like a small community; most of the residents were from Nghia An City.
At first, father rent a piece of land and hired the local people to build a home and a warehouse to start the business again. The so-called home and warehouse were actually made of bamboo and mud. They would be totally gone if there was a fine. We experienced such scary situation only a few months later when our neighbor’s house was on fire and the house was completely destroyed in minutes. Seeing this, we were frightened to death.
Since it was wartime, many young males were drafted, there were mostly female residents, young children and elderly people living in the city. And since there was no production, no job and little business was carrying on with the remaining supply carried along when people left Nghia An City. The city and the small group of residents were completely isolated by Communists from other areas had made life so difficult. Food, clothing and medicine were in greatly short supply. We survived on the stock and food reserved but once we used up the stock and food, we were starving and helpless. I would say it was one of the most difficult times we had gone through in North Vietnam.
Inflation was a big problem too. Once you sold out the stock and wanted to purchase more stock yet the price was much higher than the last time we bought in. My father was dealing with raw rubber and cottonseed at the time. My father could not make a profit by doing this type of business and he was not in good mood sometimes so he sometimes had arguments with my mother, who insisted ending the business and trying to find something else to do for a living would be a better option.
Nevertheless how could our family maintain to survive with six children? It seemed there was no answer to solve this problem facing the family. During this time, we did not have regular schooling. There were a few enthusiastic teachers who thought that a school was needed to teach the young children from year 1 to 6 and the classrooms were built of bamboo and mud just like our house. Since my older brother already finished primary school and he was not fond of study any more. By helping the family, he went to a local factory to learn how to make paper.
My older brother was a casual, straightforward and easy-going person. He liked to adventure to a new place and see new things. During the wartime, he went to the remote areas to see the refugees and dead civilians. He was drowning once and always made my mother worried because he liked to move around and he could never standstill. During his school years, he did not try hard to study. When he finished Chinese Middle High School in Hai Phong City in latter day, he was working for my great uncle’s company. He did not perform well both at school and society and he was quite a heavy smoker which resulted him later in life suffering from lung cancer. My older brother and his family immigrated to America in 1991 and settled in San Diego. He had two boys and a daughter and all of them have good career.
It seemed to me that in latter years, he was trying to catch up with life by learning English and doing volunteer work for the church. He was a devoted Christian. He was trying to study English quite hard and he got quite a few distinctions. In life, he respected the elderly relatives and often kept in touch with them. He passed away in 1998 due to lung cancer.
My two elder sisters, who were very conscious when they observed the adverse situation of the family, my eldest sister quit school and helped my mother to do housework and babysitting my two younger sisters. The other older sister still went to school yet she was keen to earn extra money by knitting and selling sweaters to the newly drafted soldiers together with my mum and my eldest sister. At the weekends, my two older sisters went up the hill to collect leaves, tree branches and grass and brought back home to be used as fuel for cooking.
Although life was tough, yet we still could get through it. However my mum found that our resources were getting less and less as days passed by. She was quite worried and considered it was necessary to find a new way to carry on with life. In addition, the children needed regular schooling.
At that time, there were many residents going out of Nghia An City like smugglers in order to stay away from the Communists. They went on foot, by bicycle or by boat. We had heard many of the families arrived safely in the French controlled area and such good news really encouraged our family. So our father decided to follow a group of the smugglers by bicycle. The one way trip to Nam Dinh City was about 300 kilometers and it took him about one month for one trip and it was quite dangerous because hi might be harassed by either the French authorities or the Communist cadres.
My mother was a family lady, who was very clever and skilled in a lot of things such as sewing, knitting and she was good in trading and said to be my father’s right hand assistant. Born in a farming family in Southern China and second daughter in the family. Before she was married to my father, she used to work in the farm and was capable of doing a lot of work in helping her parents, brothers and sister. She was always working hard and easily adopted to a new life in a foreign country. Mother was a hardworking lady with strong determination. Like our father, both of them were very concerned about their children’s education, because they thought that education was important.
In 1991, my mother, my older brother, his wife and their three children were sponsored by my youngest sister living in Los Angeles USA immigrating to America and she was easily adopted to even a western country. In 1992, I made my first trip to America to see my mother, my older brother, my two younger sisters a bunch of nephews and nieces there.
The Communist cadres were trying to indoctrinate the people in the country area to follow them to fight against the French and they were trying to collect tax to feed their cadres and regional forces. Life had become harder and harder for the ordinary people being harassed by the Communist cadres and regional forces and at the same time their lives were in great danger when the French military forces were launching military operations and air strike against the enemy forces. Quite a lot of innocent civilians got killed.
(4) The Vietnamese Communists operating in North Vietnam.
I would like to mention that the Communists were said to be experts in propaganda. They usually targeted the poor and low educated people in the rural area and working class in the cities. Since there was injustice and corruption under the old regime and the ordinary people would like to see a change, so that their lives might get better. The Vietnamese Communist forces were using the hit and run guerrilla warfare tactics applied by the Chinese Communists to fight against the French.
The enemy forces had the upper hand and more rural areas were falling under their control. Life was getting more difficult everyday. Trading was deteriorating. To make ends meet, my two older sisters had to quit school because my parents could not afford to pay the school fees. My mother and my two older sisters in their early teen were doing the knitting and after finished they took it to the market to sell.
The family with six young children at that time had to move from one place to another to avoid the Communists’ harassment or French bombing every now and then. The hardship and stress were enormous for our parents. I was about seven years old at that time and I was too young to understand their hardship of my parents, my older brother and two older sisters had experienced.
Finally the family settled in a regional town center that was quite safe from the Communist harassment. Since there was temporary peaceful period and my older brother, two older sisters and I went to school. It was a small Chinese school and all the subjects were taught in Cantonese and this was the reason why my family could speak Cantonese fluently including my father. Mother spoke Cantonese with the accent of her original dialect.
The peaceful period did not last very long; the enemy forces and cadres were expanding their control area. As the situation was deteriorating, life of the ordinary people was getting harder and harder, once my parents told us that if they knew things were going to be like that, they would rather have stayed in China, ‘our homeland’. They thought they were going to have a peaceful and comfortable life in their newly adopted country, instead they were facing the horror of another war and our lives were always in danger.
(5) The family on the move from one place to another,
As the situation was worsening, business was going down hill and our education was interrupted because we had to move from one place to another. Since the situation was getting so serious, our family was planning to escape from the rural area to the city called Nam Dinh in which I was born sixty -five years ago. According to my older sister, my father had to ride on his bicycle from where we lived to Nam Dinh to ask our great uncle for financial support. The one-way trip was about 300 kilometers and it took him over two months to complete the round trip. One can imagine the endurance and the danger he had during the trip.
After our father had the financial support from my great uncle whom he was working for since the family came to Vietnam, our family worked on a plan to escape from the rural regional centre to Nam Dinh. It was noted that the big cities or towns were still under the control of the French. The family had to travel by road (walking) and by boat and we had to move cautiously. I remember one night while we were traveling on the boat with some other boats. One boat in front of us and the other one behind us were hit by the French aircraft because the French had mistaken them as Communist forces and were sunk and it was lucky that the passengers on board were unhurt. We were in the middle and we were safe and sound. Years later whenever we recollect this horrifying incident, we were kind of scared and frightened The trip took us more than a month and I remember I was 7 – 8 years olds.
(6) Story about my eldest sister.
My eldest sister was a quiet intelligent lady, who had the similar character of my mother and always looked after her younger brother and sisters. A hard working lady by nature and she had to cease studying when our family ran into financial difficulty and instead she would help my mother in doing the sewing and knitting in order to earn some money for living. She worked very hard throughout her life in helping my mother when she was young and worked especially hard with her husband to raise the remaining five children under Communist rule from 1975 to 1993. My oldest sister’s daughter and two sons were traveling on the same boat to seek freedom in a Western country in 1979 with my family and they were successfully settled in San Diego, California, U.S.A.
My eldest sister and some of her children immigrated to America in 1993 but unfortunately she passed away in 1996 due to kidney failure and my brother-in-law died four years later. The reasons of their early departure of my oldest sister were due to overwork, lack of nutrition and under enormous stress under Communist rule. I think my eldest sister had a life however she never complained to others.
I would like to mention that my youngest sister and three of my eldest sister’s children who traveled on the same boat to escape from Vietnam in June 1979 and they were settled in America in December 1979 while our family of three young children had chosen Australia as our new home at the same time.
(7) The family escaped from danger to a safer and bigger city.
Upon arrival in Nam Dinh, which is the third largest city in North Vietnam. We arrived there looking shabby, fatigued and hungry. Our relatives gave us a warm welcome and after a hot shower and nice dinner, we sat back on the sofa and we thought of the horror and the hazards of the trip and thought that we were lucky to survive the ordeal. I think I was still too young to understand the hardship we had experienced. I was only 8-9 years old then.
After a few days’ rest, my father and my older brother started working for my great uncle; my mother resumed her domestic duty. It was good that my eldest brother and my two elder sisters were allowed to enroll in the Chinese school and I was in year 3 or 4. The family stayed in Nam Dinh for two years. During this period, life was quite good and the family was happy too. Actually the situation in the frontline was getting deteriorating with more French troops gradually withdrawing from the cities. I had a couple of classmates dated back in the early 50’s in Nam Dinh city and we were so glad to see one another again in the mid 50’s in Danang in central part of Vietnam after Vietnam was divided into two parts.
Nevertheless this happy and peaceful life did not last long and we were on the move again after staying in Nam Dinh for only two years. The Vietnamese Communists were gaining grounds in fighting against the French and the French were gradually withdrawing to the regional centers or the cities. After the French forces were defeated in the Dien Bien Phu battle in 1954 and under the Geneva agreement, the French would gradually withdraw from North Vietnam and not long after North Vietnam was under Vietnamese Communist rule.
(8) Oh dear! The family was on the move again!
Yes, the family was on the move again to escape from Communist rule. This time we were moving towards the port city of Hai Phong. We only stayed in Hai Phong for six months. My father continued working for my great uncle there, my mother doing domestic duties as usual. My older brother and sisters attended Chinese school. I was in year four.
After staying in Hai Phong for only six months, believe it or not, we were on the move again!!! Our destination this time was Saigon in South Vietnam. I was ten at that time, there were thousands and thousand of Chinese Vietnamese and Vietnamese refugees moving from interpret of small boats to connect with U.S. warships in outer coastal lines because the port of Hai Phong was not deep enough for the warships to anchor. It was safe and sound to travel on the American warships; we did not have to worry about the enemy gunfire and the bombing of the French aircraft. The U.S. Navy allocated cash and food when we arrived in Saigon.
(9) The family on the move from the North to the South.
Everybody in the family was laughing and joking while on board because we were traveling on U.S. warship and should be safe and sound. I remember that I was on the top bunk playing games with my two younger sisters. For me it was my second trip to seek freedom but for my parents and my older brother, it was their third trip. We were growing in wartime and experiencing one conflict after another and there was no sign of ending.
When we arrived in Saigon, my first cousin and his family gave us a very warm welcome, which we would never forget in our lives. As thousands and thousands of refugees from the North swamped into Saigon and the city was overcrowded and as a result there was a serious shortage of accommodation and the cost of living was skyrocketing. After the family stayed there for 6 months, our parents decided to move to Danang in central part of Vietnam because it was just too expensive to live in Saigon and we had stayed there ever since.
Danang is the second largest commercial port city in South Vietnam known as Republic of Vietnam. Like most Chinese Vietnamese, our family likes trading to make a living. My father and my older brother continued working for my great uncle while my mother and my eldest sister were trying to set up a grocery store and slowly we were building up the business. My eldest sister ceased schooling to help my mother run the store while my older sister remained in Saigon to continue her study there. She stayed at my first cousin’s house for six years and our family really appreciated their help.
(10) The life of my two older sisters, my two younger sisters and my teenager life.
We were happy that we settled in Danang quite well. At the end of 1959, my oldest sister got married at the age of 20 with the gentleman who traveled on the same ship with us from the North to Saigon.
My older sister was a very clever and intelligent student who was doing well at school and she finished high school in Saigon in 1960 and returned to Danang to help my mother run the business. The family was very happy to see her home after 6 years of separation. Afterwards she worked for the U.S. Army & Air Force Exchange and she acquainted with a Hong Kong gentleman and married in 1972 and immigrated to Hong Kong in the same year. During the time she stayed in Hong Kong, she worked as a secretary for an import & Export Company while her husband was working in the office. They have one daughter living and working as an accountant in Hong Kong. In addition of her accountancy degree, she also has a law degree.
My older sister and her husband immigrated to America in 2000. The main purpose of her immigration there was to be close to our mother. After her arrival in America, she was keen to study various topics and learning Spanish. Both my sister and her husband were enjoying their life in San Diego.
Upon arrival in Danang, my mother with the help of my oldest sister and her husband ran a grocery store together. Two years later, my mother was trying to establish another grocery store by herself not too far away from my oldest sister’s grocery. My mother ran the grocery store with the help of my older brother and me. Although at the very young of age, I was already helping my mother in displaying merchandize on the shelves, packing and delivering goods to customers. The work that I did at my very young age had enabled me to run my own wholesale business with great success years later.
My two younger sisters and I were enrolled in the Chinese school, which was not too far away from where we lived. At school, most of the subjects were taught in Mandarin Chinese but it was compulsory to learn Vietnamese. English was taught in year 7 to year 10. While my older sister remained in Saigon and stayed in my cousin’s house until she finished Chinese high school in 1960 and reunited with the family in Danang.
Both my two younger sisters were intelligent and hardworking ladies. My younger sister is married with three children, two boys and a girl and all of them have completed their education. My younger sister has been doing trading in Los Angeles ever since they set feet in American soil and she is said to be an action lady because she always does things quickly. My youngest sister is working in the bank after she settled in America in 1979. She is married with two teenager daughters.
(11) The turning point of my life.
In 1962, I had the opportunity to go to Saigon from Danang on the occasion of grandfather’s 80th birthday and it was the trip to Saigon that changed my life. During the time I was staying in Saigon, I wrote a letter to my great uncle (whom my father had worked with in North Vietnam in the late 40’s and 50’s) in Singapore if he would allow me to live in his company in Saigon so that I could study English there and to my surprise, he approved my request. Since I did not have to worry about accommodation and meals, I only needed to pay the school fee for my English high school education. I asked my mother to pay the school fee and she approved my request straight away.
Forty-five years on, I have always been thankful to the kindness of my mother and my great uncle who helped me realize my dream of further studying English. Without their permission, my education qualifications including English might not be as good as today. It was considered as an important turning point of my life.
I stayed and studied English in Saigon for three years. I was quite keen to learn English and I tried quite hard to study the language. Most of the subjects were taught in English and the teachers were from America, England, Scotland and I remember there was a female Australian who taught ‘reading’. As to ease my mother’s burden, I was tutoring part time to earn money to pay my school fees. I tried very hard to learn the language to get good results; I often practiced my English with my classmates in English and I listened to English language radio stations and I also read magazines such as Reader’s Digest and Newsweek.
As the saying goes, ‘Practice makes it perfect’ at the end of 1963, I successfully passed the Lower Certificate exams of Cambridge University and in the middle of 1964 I did attend the exams of The Certificate of Proficiency in English, University of Michigan but I was unsuccessful. Years later I did try to attend the exams again. That was not until 1972 I was very happy that I passed the exam.
(12) Father passed away in September 1964.
It was all of a sudden; my usually active and healthy father was getting sick in the early 60’s. He suffered from arthritis and rheumatism. Maybe at that time the medication was not very advanced and his condition was not improving but deteriorating. At the beginning, he was under Chinese herb treatment and acupuncture but in vain. After a prolonged treatment without any outcome in Danang, my father insisted in going to Saigon where his young brother lived and he might get financial support from him. He stayed in Saigon for a few months for treatment in the quite advanced government General Hospital. My younger sister had to take my father to travel by train from Danang to Saigon and it took 24 hours to reach the destination. My younger sister was 17 years old at that time.
The medial bill and accommodation in the hospital was expensive and my younger uncle had to pay the bill since my family could not afford to. Also according to my older sister, who was so embarrassed when she went to his house like begging him to pay the bill for our father. It was hurting her feeling. After a few months’ stay in Saigon, my father decided to return to Danang since he did not get any better in Saigon and his condition was on and off and he was very tired of his sickness. In the latter days, father just threw away or hided away his medication because he did not want to take medication any more since no medication seemed to work for him, he felt disappointed, devastated and depressed.
Although a lot of money was spent to seek a cure to my father’s sickness and for some unknown reasons, there was no solution. I remember that father was feeling lonely, depressed and grumpy at times because of his sickness. As children including mother were feeling melancholy because our dear father was feeling so sick. The once active and healthy middle-aged man now had become old and fragile because of his illness.
I returned to Danang after studying in Saigon for three years and when I arrived home my father was quite sick and a few months later he passed away. One thing I regret in my latter life was that I was not standing by close to him giving him support and encouraging while he had to manage his sickness in vain. I was 21 years old and I think I should have done more for my father by staying by his bedside or comforting him by telling him funny stories.
The family was saddened by his departure. Our father was such a friendly and caring man who always looked after his wife and children. My father and I were very close. I still remember when we were in the North, he used to take me to visit his friends and go shopping. Forty-three years on, our family still remembers him especially on the anniversary of his departure. May God bless our father and he is always in our heart.
Father was the third child in the family. He had two older brothers who passed away when they were young, two younger brothers and two younger sisters. My two younger uncles passed away not too long ago in America. My two young aunties were living in China. In January 2006, I made my first trip to China to see my two aunties for the first time in my life. We were very thrilled to see each other. I also took this opportunity to see my cousins of mother side.
(13) My life as an army interpreter during the war in Vietnam.
Not long after my father passed away in September 1964, I started working as an army interpreter for U.S. Special Forces in Danang. It was my very first job after I had studied English for three years in Saigon. During the war in Vietnam, young people had to join the military service and working as an army interpreter for the Special Forces was just like serving in the military forces. Although I was Chinese Vietnamese however I was naturalized and I was a Vietnamese citizen and I had to carry out the service of military duty just like other Vietnamese.
Besides working as an interpreter/translator, I was required to do administrative work at the headquarters. I was sometimes required to go on operations with American and Vietnamese Special Forces. The Special Forces camps were located at the remote jungles near the Ho Chi Minh trail and I had been to most of the camps.
When we were on operation, we had the support of armed helicopters and in the mid 60’s; the enemy forces were not as strong as later years. Nevertheless, our lives were often in danger. During the time I served in the Special Forces unit, an interpreter was killed in action. Life in the army was quite good. After a day’s work especially after the operation, we could have a few drinks and hot meal at the unit’s club while listening to the 60’s music.
While I was serving in the Special Forces unit, both my older sister and two younger sisters were working for the U.S. Army & Air Forces Exchange, which provided grocery and necessary items for all the military and civilian personnel serving in Vietnam. I think it was an advantage that all of our sisters and brother learned English beforehand so that was the reason why we could be able to work for the Americans to get better pay than working for the Chinese or Vietnamese.
After serving for the U.S. Special Forces for three years and in 1967, I was required to work for the Rural Development Branch in Quang Ngai province, which was about 131 kilometers by road south of Danang. The Communist forces and cadres were operating quite actively in the rural areas of Quang Ngai province. Sometimes I was required to go on inspection with American advisors and Vietnamese officials to visit the rural development cadres. We were always armed and were on alert all the times. It was quite a dangerous task yet somebody had to do it. At night when I was asleep, for safety reason I had to have my pistol placed next to me.
Indeed the situation in South Vietnam was deteriorating after the Lunar New Year offensive in 1968, the enemy forces occupied more territory and their cadres were expanding their operating area in the country. The allied forces especially Americans had to send more troops to deal with the worsening situation.
I would like to mention that Communists were experts in propaganda; they indoctrinated the would-be followers very skillfully. Communism was nourishing in the working class in the cities and peasants in the countryside, because these people were oppressed by the present corrupt government, the rich and powerful people, therefore they were easily persuaded and indoctrinated by the Communists.
I continued to work in Quang Ngai until the middle of 1970 then I applied for a job to work as an interpreter for the U.S. & Vietnamese navy in Danang. It was good that I could work close to home. The whole family could have dinner together and talk about the daily activity of each person. My older brother helped my mother run the grocery store. My eldest sister had her own grocery store with her husband not too far away from my mother’s. My three sisters continued to work for Army & Air Force Exchange and the family had a quite happy life.
In November 1969, I met my would-be wife on the occasion of a friend’s birthday party and we seemed to fall in love with each at the first glance. Our friendship nourished and after six months’ dating each other by going to the movie, restaurant or riding on the motorcycle and sitting on the Bach Dang river to enjoy the relaxing afternoon together after a day’s work. In May 1970 we got married. My wife continued to work for the food service of Danang Area Exchange while I was still serving in the navy. We have raised three healthy children, two boys and one girl. When the family escaped from the country, my older son was 61/2 years old, my daughter 5 years old and my youngest son 2 years old.
My job in the navy was quite an easy one. I mainly did administrative duties including some interpretation and translation. The unit I was serving was a special unit, which launched surprise attacks on enemy naval bases in the North but unfortunately without much success. I learnt about the reasons behind the not so successful mission from my previous work mate in the U.S. when I visited there four years ago.
An enemy army officer had infiltrated our headquarters in Saigon and actually he worked for the South Vietnamese army as sergeant first class in intelligence section II in our headquarters. When our navel forces had plans to launch surprise attacks on enemy naval forces in the North, he was the one who obtained the information firsthand and he dispatched it to our enemy in the North, so almost every time we launched the attacks the friendly forces returned to the rear base empty-handed. I met this spy at the naval base a couple of times where I was working and I was very shocked about my friend’s disclosure.
(14) The situation in South Vietnam was deteriorating.
After the Paris Peace Agreement in early 1973 and the surprise visit by U.S. Secretary of State followed by U.S. President’s visit to China in the same year, the allied forces started gradual withdrawal of its troops from Vietnam. Most of the Vietnamese thought that the allied forces were going to abandon South Vietnam and they did not think the South Vietnamese Army was strong enough to fight against the Communist forces. Not long before the withdrawal of allied forces, the situation began deteriorating seriously and people reckoned that we were going to lose the war.
After I was discharged from the navy, I established my wholesale grocery business with remarkable success with the cooperation of a few partners. As the situation was deteriorating, the city people were worried and confused while in the rural areas, the Communist forces were expanding their influence and occupied more territory from the government forces. As days passed by there was no good news for the government and its people.
(15) Gosh! We are losing the war against Communists,
In early March 1975, the Vietnamese Communist forces launched an all out attack on most provincial capital cities, military headquarters and outposts and in just less than two months, they conquered the whole South Vietnam and since 30th April 1975, the country of the so called ‘Republic of Vietnam’ was wiped out from the world map and it was the end of the War in Vietnam. It was a heavy blow to the Free World especially the U.S. the super power was beaten by a small nation.
On the eve before the Vietnamese Communist forces took Danang, one of my friends, a South Vietnamese air force captain was trying desperately to get my family to the airport to get a flight to Saigon but when we arrived at the airport there were hundreds and thousands of people waiting there. All was in confusion and we did not think we could be able to get a flight to Saigon at all.
When the night fell, the Communist forces began mortaring the airport. There were quite a lot of casualties, the siren of the ambulances and the crying of people who lost their loved ones could be heard in the dark night. The Communist forces continued mortaring the airport and people were frightened and they were still trying desperately to catch a flight to Saigon, where they might have ‘Temporary Freedom’ there because they thought the Communist forces would not be moving to Saigon so quickly.
As the mortaring continued and it was too dangerous to stay at the airport. In addition, we did not think there would be any chance for us to get a flight to Saigon. So finally, we, a group of five consisting of my wife, myself, two children aged 5 and 2 and my wife’s younger sister decided to return to our house. We all took motorcycles home and we were told that the Communist forces were coming towards the city in minutes and on the way, some South Vietnamese marines were robbing money from the people and they were shooting into the sky. It was in the early afternoon of 29th March 1975, Danang; my home city fell to the hands of the Communists.
I think the reasons we lost the war against the Communists were due to the corrupted administration and army system. For example, the army officers got extra money by recruiting soldiers who were not actually on the payroll. The South Vietnamese military police and police also targeted at the Chinese Vietnamese to be drafted and be sent to the frontline. If they did not want to go on operations in the frontline, then they had to bride those officers in charge so that they could work at the headquarters doing administrative or maintenance work.
It was not fair system to most people. In the country or in the city alike, only the poor young people were drafted and sent to the frontline fighting against the Communists while the young people from the rich family were working at the rear base.
In the public servants sector, they only worked for their personal interest and did not concentrate wholeheartedly for the government. Both the public servants and the army officers would only like to enjoy a comfortable and leisure life. The people in the South like to pursue a life of materialism while the people in the North just have enough food to survive under the one party policy.
I must also admit that the morale of the Communist soldiers and cadres was much higher than the South Vietnamese soldiers and public servants because they had been indoctrinated and they had a goal to fight for – That ‘was the liberation of South Vietnam and the defeat of American super power.’
One thing even now, I don’t understand that why the American and allied forces got too involved in the War in Vietnam. Instead of sending half a million troops to South Vietnam, why the American and allied forces did not train the South Vietnamese Army and well equip them to fight against the Communists instead the American and allied forces had to do the job all by themselves.
One thing I also don’t understand was that why the Americans did not follow the pattern of South Korea. The South Korea had a strong uncorrupted government and its soldiers’ morale was high and well paid, so the North Korean would not dare to invade South Korea. It was the strong determination that the South Vietnamese Government lacked of. If the South Vietnamese Government were as strong as South Korea, the situation in Vietnam would be different today. I would say that there are still two Vietnams today.
(16) Life under the Communist regime.
We were glad to be home, where our auntie was waiting for us anxiously and worried about our safety. After the fall of Danang, the Communist forces swept further south and within a month, their forces occupied the whole of South Vietnam. We did not expect they could conquer South Vietnam so quickly and it seemed to me that there was not much resistance from the South Vietnamese armed forces.
Not long after they occupied the country, the life of ordinary people turned upside down. Trading was forbidden, city people were forced to go to the rural areas to work on the farm and government run companies and factories were established. There was no freedom of speech, religion, travel etc. and there was food ration controlled. A few months after the Communist authorities took over Danang, they targeted the rich merchants and froze all their assets. There were a few suicide incidents took place in Saison after the assets of the rich people were frozen by the authorities.
The fall of the South Vietnamese government took place suddenly just as they did in Laos and Cambodia. The fall of South Vietnam was a big blow to the U.S. the No.1 super power was defeated by a tiny nation of Vietnamese Communists. In 1954, they defeated the French Colonists and now they defeated the no.1 super power in the world and Communism was surely at its peak in 1975 and lasted for the next decade and a half.
(17) Some important events from the early 60’s to the fall of Vietnam.
In November 1963 while I was studying in Saigon, there was a coup to topple President Ngo Dinh Diem by some of the generals backed up by America. Before the coup took place, there was Buddhist unrest all over the country and there were some monks in Hue and Saigon who burnt themselves to death to protest the government’s discrimination of Buddhism. The coup took place all of a sudden and there was not much blood shed. The President and his older brother, Ngo Dinh Nhu were killed in the coup. The coup leaders were General Duong Van Minhand three of his close officers. In 1965, there was another coup against General Minh and the coup leader was General Nguyen Khanh. Again in 1967, with the support of the Americans, Thieu and Ky were in government.
Another thing I would like to mention was the time from 1967 to 1975, South Vietnamese President Nguyen Van Thieu and Vice President Nguyen Cao Ky, for some unknown reasons, they did not get along well with each other. How could the South Vietnamese Army and its people unite together to fight against the Communists while their leaders could not get along each other? While the South Vietnamese were not united and determined to fight against the Communists, in the North, the army and its people in the North were united under the leadership of their leader, Ho Chi Minh to win the war. And they did win the war.
The Vietnamese Communists were taking advantage of the political unrest of the South Vietnamese government; they had gained more territory and influence in the countryside. In the daytime they were mixing with the peasants working in the paddy fields and at night they were secretly operating and launched attacks on government regional force in the countryside.
In February 1968, the Communist forces violated the so-called Lunar New Year’s cease-fire agreement by launching a surprise Lunar New Year attack throughout the country and they gained a lot of ground. They occupied part of Saigon, the entire city of Hue about 100 kilometers north of Danang, some parts of the provincial capitals including Quang Ngai. One of my work mates was killed by enemy fire while he was standing in front of his house. What a sad story of the war and I lost another good mate in my life. During the Lunar New Year offensive, I was on leave in Danang. I could see the armed helicopters bombing the enemy forces positions in a distance from my house where I lived.
The situation was looking quite gloomy at the beginning. The enemy forces had gained a lot of territory. The U.S. and Vietnamese forces launched counter attacks on the enemy forces to reclaim the territory. There were heavy casualties on both sides and there were a lot of innocent civilians killed in the fighting. Since then, I wondered whether the Allied and government forces could win the war. I was getting a little sick of how the war was progressing.
The situation was seriously deteriorating after the Lunar New Year Offensive; the enemy forces occupied more territory in the countryside. After the bloody battle in summer 1972 in Quang Tri province about 220 kilometers north of Danang, the situation in the front was worsening and most of the people `thought that we might lose the war against the Communists.
I remember quite well that in early April 1972, the enemy forces mortared the vicinity of our neighborhood. Their target was the Shell refinery about 600 meters from where we lived. They missed the target and the 81mm mortar landed on a neighbor’s house about 200 meters away from where we lived. It was such a gigantic explosion that scared and horrified our family and the neighborhood. We were safe and sound but the man living next door was killed instantly due to the debris.
(18) The hardship the family had to put up with under Communist regime.
The fall of Laos, Cambodia and Vietnam took place simultaneously. The Khmer Rouge had used the most savage and barbarian treatment towards the previous regime officers, officials and its people. The Khmer Rouge soldiers killed about a few millions of people when they occupied the country from 1975 to 1979 under Ponpot regime. It was the Vietnamese Communist forces, which launched the attack and occupied Cambodia and rescued its people from being killed by the Khmer Rouge. For unknown reasons, the super power and U.N. did not do anything ‘to stop this savage killing of the century.’
After the Communists took over South Vietnam, I had to keep my identity secret since I was working for the Americans before, It was lucky that for the last few years I was allowed to wear civilian clothes to work because I was doing administrative and translation work, so the neighbors probably did not know that I was working for Americans. If they had ever known my identity, my life would have been in great danger.
After the Communists took over the country, I was doing the trading secretly to make some sort of living and I also established a little workshop manufacturing plastic products, which was not banned by the authorities, so life for our family was quite all right. The happy days did not last long. The authorities sent another worker to work with me. Since the workshop was attached to our house, we felt uncomfortable to have a strange person come to and from house; besides I had to share the already limited profit with the worker.
One and a half year later, our youngest son was born. He came to the world when most people in the country were in poverty. Our older son and daughter were born in peacetime and there was abundant baby food and nutritional food available but not with our poor youngest son. Any way, life went on no matter how difficult it lay ahead. In 1977 our older son went to the Chinese school I used to go to but the teaching method had changed and there was not much Chinese to be taught. Our daughter went to Vietnamese pre-school.
As days passed by and life under Communist control life was harder and harder and time seemed to go not as quickly as before. People in time of hardship or difficulty usually felt the time went more slowly than in time of happiness. There were more rules of restrictions for trading, travel, freedom of speech and religion. The happy faces of the adults and naïve faces of children in the past were gone and replaced by sad looking faces.
My wife and I had to work very hard and tried to make ends meet, as had my mother, my older brother, my eldest sister and their eight young children. Our older son enrolled in year 1 but only Vietnamese was taught at school. Some of my eldest sister’s children attended while the others had to cease school and had to work in order to earn some money to buy food and necessary items for the family.
The government changed the currency several times during the period from 1975 to 1979 and people were allowed to have certain amount of money, the remaining people had to put in the government bank. Your hard earned life savings was pouring down the drain and some people had no choice but go to the country to work on the farm. Some of them had to sell their belongings to survive if they did not want to go to the so-called new economic zone working in the farm. The government called on the people to go to new economic zone working in the farm.
(19) The Journey to seek freedom.
As life became unbearable, so our family planned a risky attempt to escape the country by boat and it was June 1979. As Danang city was always closely watched by the Communist police it would not be safe for us to travel so we went a city called Qui Nhon instead, which was about 214 kilometers south of Danang. I visited Qui Nhon a couple of times before we made the final decision. It was a daring decision. If we got caught, the adults would be jailed and our house would be taken over by the authorities and we would have had no shelter.
As the saying goes, ‘One would rather die if there is no freedom.’ There were eleven people altogether, my family of five; our older son was nearly 7, our daughter 5 and our youngest son nearly 2, my youngest sister, my two nephews and my niece, my sister-in-law, my brother-in-law and their nephew. We had to divide into several groups and disguised ourselves as we were visiting our friends and relatives in other areas. Whenever the bus was approaching the checkpoints, our hearts tumbled like a drum. If the security officer checked our travel permit, which we did not have, we would be in big trouble.
The local Chinese Vietnamese had pre-arranged with the authorities, which also received instruction from the central government to allow the Chinese Vietnamese to leave the country providing they paid fees to the authorities. In addition to that, their houses would be handed over to the government as soon as they were on board. The Communist authorities did not think that the Chinese Vietnamese community would support the Communist regime wholeheartedly in rebuilding the country after the war so they just let them leave the country. I think we were quite safe that we would not get caught because we had already paid the fee.
We arrived at the meeting points at different time and when we arrived there, we were tired, hungry and exhausted especially the children. It was their very first time to travel in a jammed bus and every now and then my youngest son was crying and my wife had to comfort him with drinks and candy. My daughter, who was traveling with my mother-in-law, arrived last. The next night, again we were divided into several groups and got on the wooden boat.
Oh dear! There were 289 people altogether including children and toddlers. Adults and children were packed in a not too big boat on a dark night and then there was the crying of children. Before we went on board, we were told to take our shoes or sandals off, as the authorities were being afraid that we might hide some gold inside the shoes or sandals. As the boat was traveling into international water, we were looking back far away to have a final glance of our ‘Homeland.’ In which we had grown up and now we had to leave our friends and relatives behind to seek freedom in a western country. It was my third journey to seek freedom and as for my wife and three young children, it was their very first experience.
As we were settled, our thoughts were confused and we prayed to God to give us a safe journey to the port of freedom, Hong Kong – Our destination. As our boat was traveling for about 12 hours, all we could see was the dark sky and inky dark ocean and everything was so quiet, deadly quiet. All you could hear was the noise of the engine and our boat was just like a big leaf floating in the vast ocean. We could not see the difference between the sky and the ocean and it was kind of frightening.
After a few days at sea, one of the four engines of our boat was broken. We managed to travel along while the mechanic was trying his best to fix the broken engine and as we continued our journey, we saw the land at a fair distance and we presumed that it must have been Hai Nam Island of China. Our boat went towards the shore and at half way the Chinese naval forces stopped our boat.
The Chinese naval personnel looked at the way we were dressed and they presumed that we must have been refugees escaping from Vietnam. We imagined that they must have seen the so-called ‘Boat people’ quite often after the Vietnamese Communists occupied South Vietnam. They allowed us to come ashore at a fishing village. The village people were quite poor but were friendly and we had to use gold or ring to exchange for rice and food. Some of us including me communicated with the village people in Mandarin. We did not go into details of their daily living in case we might get into trouble. Anyway we had a night’s rest and the next day we were on board again after we purchased ration from the authorities.
Our boat was traveling quite smoothly for the next few days nevertheless we were always quite worried about our safety. It was not too bad during the daytime and since there was nothing to do on the boat, our family members were chatting with one another and we were also talking about how sad it was that we had to leave our ‘Homeland.’ It was a sad thing to leave your own home and risk our lives to seek ‘freedom’ in a foreign soil and only the people who had gone through this experience, would realize the bitterness and sadness of missing their ‘Homeland.’
Occasionally we encountered some big ships and again we were trying our utmost to shout out and wave desperately to get their attention but unsuccessful. It was understood that some of the big ships received instructions from their head office not to pick up the boat people for unknown reasons. However each time we spotted a big ship pass by, we still hoped that it would pick us up because the journey to seek freedom was too hazardous to risk.
During the time we traveled on the boat, we kept on praying and praying to God to help us arrive at the destination safe and sound because traveling on the boat on the vast ocean was just too risky to experience. There is a saying ‘One would rather die if there is no freedom.’ According to the survey, many people lost their lives at sea while traveling by boat to seek freedom. However that ‘Freedom’ was too expensive to obtain.
(20) Oh dear! Our boat was nearly capsule.
In the early afternoon of our 9th day of the journey, our boat was traveling under the blue clear sky and calm sea, suddenly we spotted land in quite a distance and everybody was so happy and we were saying to ourselves that we are not far away from reaching the port of freedom and we were already talking about Hong Kong – our destination. We imagined how it was like with the high raise buildings and its people living in the populated peninsula.
As we were daydreaming and moments afterwards we saw the dark clouds gathering on the other side of the sky and they were getting darker and darker as our boat moved on. Not long after there was a very severe thunderstorm with heavy rain pouring on our wooden boat. It was the most severe thunderstorm I had ever seen in my life and suddenly I thought during the time I served in the Special Forces unit as a combat interpreter; occasionally we encountered some thunderstorms with heavy rains in the jungle while on operations. It was scary enough to frighten my comrades and me off. I was only 23-24 years old then. In comparison with the thunderstorms I had experienced, this was hundred and hundred times scarier. Our boat was in the middle of the vast ocean. While I was on operations in the jungles I had a much greater chance to survive but certainly not with the tiny wooden boat in the middle of the ocean.
As the rain was pouring into the boat with ghastly winds, our boat was shaking and it seemed that it was going to capsize any time. There was nothing we could do except pray to Buddha and God to help us overcome this extremely hazardous moment. I felt very exhausted and was lying on the bench while my wife looked after our three children. My brother-in-law was on the deck and I asked him whether we had a chance to survive. He kept on shaking his head and burst into tears by sadly expressing that: ‘Gosh, We’re finished, we’re finished!’ After I heard what he had said, my heart sunk to rock bottom. I prayed again and again: ‘May God have mercy for us and May God help us get through this very crucial moment.’ ’The cyclone and ghastly wind lasted for about two hours and after our prayers we could see the crystal blue sky above again. Gone was the cyclone and ghastly winds. We thank Buddha and God who had responded to our prayer.
(21) Thank God! We were safe and sound at last.
After we traveled another three hours, our boat reached the territory of Macao. We were very happy that we were safe and sound after all the hazard and life threatening incidents. The Macao Water Police did not allow us to get on shore but made us stay in the boat and the next morning they showed us the direction to Hong Kong and after two hours of travel we entered the territory of Hong Kong where we were stopped by the Water Police and later we were guided to anchor in the pier.
It was 18th June 1979 two o’clock in the afternoon our boat was anchored at the pier. There were heaps and heaps of boats anchored at the pier and most of them were from North Vietnam. From June 1979 until the end of 1979 it was the peak of the refugee exodus from Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia. The Laos and Cambodian refugees were traveling to seek freedom in a western country, most of them traveled to Thailand. We were waiting and waiting in the boat for hours until we were called to go on shore. It was summer in Hong Kong and the weather was hot and humid. We were taken to a big iron sheeted warehouse packed with over one thousand refugees and we could hear the crying of little children and we could sense the smelling of sweat in this unbearable hot weather.
The crying of children and the smell of sweat did not worry us much because we had arrived at the port of freedom, safe and sound and breathed air of freedom. For the first couple of months, we were not allowed to go outside to mingle with the Hong Kong people. During the time we stayed in the refugee camps, The U.N. High Commission and the Hong Kong government provided meals and accommodation. Also while we were in Hong Kong, my older sister living in Hong Kong had visited us several times and brought some clothes and necessary items for us and at the weekends we came to her apartment and went to ‘yum cha’ together and we talked about our life being affected after the Communists took over South Vietnam.
(22) Our six months’ stay in Hong Kong.
A couple of months later, we were allowed to out of the camp, my family members got a job straight away because the economy in Hong Kong was going quite strong at that time. My wife was working for an electronics company in the day shift while I was also working for another electronics company in the afternoon shift so I could look after our children and do some cooking. It was the very first time I started to learn how to cook after I got married for 9 years by then. Before the Communists took over, we used to have a maid to do the housework for us but when the Communists occupied the country, we had to lay off the maid in case the Communist authorities would say that we belonged to the capitalist element.
One thing really embarrassed us during the time we were staying in the refugee camps. There were incidents of fighting, brawls taking place frequently among the refugees from the North and those from the South. Both of them blamed one another that made them leave their ‘Homeland’ The fighting among these two groups were sometimes resulted in bodily injury. Normally the North Vietnamese refugees were acting more aggressive and some of them were ex-convicts.
Actually we were quite scared to mingle with them, especially with our children and we were trying our best to stay away from the trouble by limited communicating with them. During the time we were staying in the refugee camps, my wife worked in the day shift and I was on the afternoon shift.
After almost 29 years, I still don’t quite understand why we dared to risk our lives to travel in a wooden boat in the boundless ocean and we had experienced quite a few dangerous events in which we almost lost our lives. From times to times, we still have nightmares about those horrifying incidents. I think the main reason for us to risk our lives to travel in a wooden boat was best described as the saying goes ‘Give me liberty, or give me dead.’ by Patrick Henry.
If today someone asks me whether I would dare try again to risk my life to travel on a wooden boat in the vast ocean, I think I have to consider it very seriously because it was just too risky and throughout these years, I often have nightmares about ‘our trip to seek freedom’.
It was a coincidence that the Hong Kong Governor paid a visit to the refugee camp a few days after we arrived there. I remembered I had asked the U.N. representative whether I should complain about the hygiene condition in the refugee camp. He told me it was not appropriate to do so and said that the ‘Boat people’ should appreciate the Hong Kong government and its people let the refugees stay there.
(23) Our family immigrated to Australia.
Our family stayed in the refugee camp in Hong Kong for six months and then immigrated to Australia on 18th December 1979. Number 18 has been our family favourite number ever since. We arrived in Hong Kong and some of our insurance policies happened to be on the 18th. Our family was settled with another family in a country town called ‘Temora’ near Wagga Wagga and Canberra. The town people were very friendly and helpful which had a good impact on our children.
Since there was no employment in ‘Temora’, we moved to Sydney in early 1981. My wife was working the day shift while I worked in the afternoon shift; my older son and my daughter went to Burwood primary school while my youngest son was under the care of baby-sitter. The family was settled happily in Sydney.
(24) My life with depression.
Unfortunately my first relapse of depression stroked me for the very first time some time in early 80’s in Australia. I have to admit that I have had depression since I was in year 10 of Chinese High School. I think the main reason triggered my depression was that I did not do well in mathematics, I was feeling sad and I did not socialise with my classmates. I did not take any medication at that time and I just let it come and go. I think mental illness must have been a strange sickness and I don’t think that there were a lot of medications available in the early 60’s in Vietnam. In addition, I don’t think people knew about mental health a lot in Vietnam at that time. I had also gone through quite mild depression while I was attending English high school in Saigon, again I did not take any medication and I just let it cure by itself.
I remember that while I was working in U.S. Special Forces, I mentioned my mental sickness to the Captain, the medical officer in the Headquarters of U.S. Forces that I had some sort of depression but he did not think that I had the illness. Also while I was working in Quang Ngai Province that is about 131 kilometres south of Danang in 1967-69, I had some sort of depression and again I did not take any medication and just let the illness come and go. I remember at one stage, I was feeling quite low and I called my older sister at work in Danang complaining about my illness, who just comforted and encouraged me to look after myself and just not worry too much, everything should be all right.
When I immigrated to Australia, I had a relapse every few years however I still managed to go to work. I went to see the psychiatrist, who prescribed me some medication and I was back on my feet again. Once I was well, I stopped taking medication. Some professionals told me that if I had continued taking medication continuously, my mental state would have been better.
My first relapse in Australia was in the middle of 1981, I think the reasons triggered my depression were that I was working in a very hot unhealthy condition in one of the workshops in Milpera, southwest of Sydney. I went to see the psychiatrist, who prescribed me some medication and after two weeks, I was back on my feet again.
My second relapse took place while I was under training at the Australia Post mail centre in the city. I think the reasons triggered to my depression were that I had used my mind too much. When I attended the first stage of training in sorting overseas mail, I was successful in passing the training course and working at the mail centre for a few months. After that I was required to undergo training in sorting in-country mail. I think if I used my mind a little too much, I would plunge into depression. I was hospitalised for 2-3 weeks and after I was discharged from hospital, I stayed home for over a month for recovery. Again I did not continue to take medication once I was well. When I recovered from my illness, I started working in a supermarket as a shop assistant in the city.
Since I spoke English quite well, later on I was doing some customer service job. I liked working there; most of the workers were Chinese Vietnamese. There were some Australians working upstairs doing administrative, marketing and accounting jobs. My colleges and I were doing our jobs well however I had to work long hours and I was underpaid too. During the time I was working at the supermarket in the city, I was in quite good health.
Since I had to work long hours and underpaid, I was thinking of looking for another job, perhaps one of the workshops in the metropolitan areas. In 1987, I got a job at Austral Bronze, an Australian company which manufacturing metal and bronze sheets in addition to the blanking coins (coins being blanked are 1c, 2c, 5c, 10c, 20c, 50c, one dollar and two dollars) for the Federal Government, The blank coins were later sent to Canberra to have them stamped.
I didn’t think that the boss and the management managed the company properly. In the early or mid 80’s unions had a lot of power, the unions sometimes demanded the ‘strike’ and asked the workers to support them. In other words, the unions have too much power those days. In 1991, the company decided to close down the company since the company was running at a loss. In fact, I predicted the closing down of the company. Later I learnt that the blanking of 5c, 10c, 20c, 50c, one dollar and two coins were blanked in Korea because it would be much cheaper to produce there. A few years after the closing down of the company, the developers were building quite a lot of water front apartments that attracted quite a lot of middle class homebuyers and the apartments were quite expensive.
My third relapse was in 1988 after we made our first trip to ‘Temora’ that was the country town where we first settled in Australia. It was the year, 1988 we bought a little better condition ‘Toyota Corona’ station wagon and that vehicle had lasted for the next 20 years! We just sold it to the car wreckage for $200 only although the vehicle was still in quite good condition. Thanks to our children’s contribution, we were able to upgrade our so-called Centenary Vehicle.
Talking about the town people in Temora, we always remember the hospitality of the town’s people given to us while we stayed there. The friendliness and helpfulness of the town’s people really impressed our family and we still keep in touch with our friends. Time goes as quickly as a ‘flash’, suddenly we have settled in this country for 31 years now. We had quite a happy life in Australia. I think every one would agree with me that Australia is one of a few lucky countries in the world to live in.
Due to long drive to and from ‘Temora’, I had my third depression in Australia. The sickness only lasted for more than a week and I was back on my feet again. Once again, I was off medication when I was well and working as usual. I don’t think that my psychiatrist at that time had advised me clearly that I should continue taking medication; otherwise my mental state would be different. I have my weak point; that is I am not used to drive long distance. If I do, I will get depression.
Our three children were doing well at school, from kindergarten, primary school and then high school. In 1991, my wife and I took an adventure to operate a take away shop, which made my depression come back. We bought the business from my brother-in-law. I was under a lot of stress when my wife and I operated the takeaway shop partly due to the hot condition in the shop.
The rental of the shop was expensive too, we were always worried especially me whether the turnovers could be enough to cover the rental and our living cost. For some unknown reasons, we did not apply for government assistance. I have to say that we were struggling during that period of time while we were operating the takeaway shop.
I think in early 1993, I did make a terrible mistake by owning a cleaning business. I should have known my history of depression well. Later in life I always had great regret that I had bought the cleaning business which resulted in having a very sever depression in March 1994. I was admitted to hospital for treatment. The sickness was so severe that my family and I thought that I could not survive the ordeal. With God’s blessing, I was just lucky to be alive. Since then I have been taking medication continuously.
My wife has always been a much calmer and relaxed person than I. During the time I was in hospital and recovery, she had given me a lot of support and I had been well taken care. I think I could manage the illness well was mainly due to my wife and my three children’s support.
Luckily we sold our takeaway shop at a very cheap price after operating the shop for a little more than a year. As a matter of fact, we just wanted to get rid of the shop as soon as possible. Even the children were happy that we had sold the business. Not long after we sold our takeaway shop, my depression stroke again and I didn’t think that the psychiatrist prescribed the right medication for me so was condition was 50%, 50% one day was good, other day not too good. As my mental health was getting deteriorating and I visited the psychiatrist in Burwood and he prescribed some medication to take. I did not think that he was a good and experienced psychiatrist.
At the beginning of 1994, I was constantly feeling melancholy, nervous and had sleep problem. In fact, the psychiatrist should have sent me to hospital earlier. My condition was getting worse and worse as days passed by and I also had strong suicide thoughts and finally my treating doctor decided that I should be hospitalised.
I must admit that during the two months I was in hospital, life was just like hell for my family and me. For the first two weeks, the hospital stopped all my medication I took and put me under ‘observation’. After two weeks, I became a ‘zombie’. I had no feeling at all. The staff encouraged me to smile yet I could not do it because I was so sick and depressed. I don’t think a person can smile or laugh when he or she feels depressed or stressed. Also I was always walking around and around, up and down the block. I was acting crazily even I dared cut the telephone line in the office. Later one of the staff punished me by locking me in the darkroom for two hours.
That was not all; the unhappy story went on and on. I often called my wife at work and told her that it would be my last time that I called her and threatened to bite my tongue. During the time I stayed in hospital, I had received some electrical shock treatments. I was very sick and shaky that my wife had to feed me from times to times. Once I was transferred to Prince of Alfred hospital for observation for two days.
It was a long and sad story to tell. I was shaky by the feet at times probably due to side affect of the medication. For some unknown reasons and probably I was still quite sick, I was quite superstitious about the position of my bed and I had asked the nurse to put the bed in the position I liked. Gosh! I did not have recollection at all that I had sneaked out from the hospital and hired a taxi home several times during the time I was in hospital. My wife and children were stunned my coming home without any reasons.
I must also admit that I will never forget the gratitude my wife had done for me during the most crucial time in hospital. Without her support, I don’t think that I could survive the ordeal. Although we have had different views and attitude in our latter days of life, however I will never forget the gratitude she had done to me. I also remember that my wife came to visit me every single afternoon after work to see how I was doing. As soon as she got out of the lift she rushed to see me and asked me how I was feeling. At the beginning, I don’t think that I would show any sign of happiness while I was still sick.
At some stages, I could not recognize some of my friends and relatives who came to the hospital to visit me. Believe it or not, I even could not recognize my sister-in-law, brothers-in-law and their children and by that, you can see how severe I was at that time. One day when my wife was driving our family car on the way to visit me and when she saw our next door neighbor and she got this to say:
‘Listen, maybe Ken might not survive the ordeal and he might not come home!’
I think my wife must have been extremely sad, desperate and heart-broken when she told our next-door neighbor this horrifying news.
Gosh, with God’s blessings, my illness was getting better and better as days passed by. I was discharged from hospital in May 1994 after I had a very severe nervous breakdown as a result of working too hard when I had a cleaning business.
For the first few years, I have been dealing with my sickness with difficulty. I think mental illness is a complicated issue; one out of five people in the world experiences some sort of mental illness in their life. It was not until the year 2000, with the right medication I was taking then I have been doing well. I could do more things than before; I went to TAFE to learn computer skill and have further English study and later on I have taken writing short stories as my hobby. Now I have a dream to publish one or two books before I am getting too old.
When my sickness was improving in 1995, I started working for Enterprise as a cleaner. Enterprise employs people with disability such as mental illness and I have been working since then. In 1998, I started working as a volunteer at Fairfield Rehabilitation Centre at Carramar. ‘Helping people makes me feel happy’ has been my concept for a long time and I am proud of the work I have been doing at FRC.
I have been lucky that I only suffer from mild depression, so I have quite a normal life. It is quite hard that some other people suffering from quite severe illness such as schizophrenia, hallucination and psycho but anyway with the modern medication and if the sufferers manage the illness well, they will have quite a normal life.
I imagine if I had suffered from severe schizophrenia, hallucination or psycho, maybe I would yell at people on the streets and there would be big problems for my family and I would disturb my meighbors. People would say this guy was crazy because his ancestors had done something wrong and now he had to suffer and pay for it. I think it the early 80’s and even now in the Asian community in Australia, a lot of people suffering from mental illness would not discuss their illness with other people.
In life, I like working. I did try to start seeking open employment however once I started working more hours, I felt a little stressed and depressed, so I have to stick the present part time job doing about 11 hours per week. I attend the Liverpool TAFE course and join the leisure programs at Fairfield Rehabilitation Centre and do some volunteer work by visiting patients at the hospital and encourage them by having intimate chats with them and I am happy what I have been doing.
As a matter of fact, quite often I still have ‘stigma’ about my mental illness. I rarely mention about my illness to people unless they are good and close friends. I don’t want people to know my illness. I think some people in the community still discriminate mentally ill people especially the Asian community. I did not even tell my mother that I have had a problem in case she would get worried.
I must also admit that I hate my illness, which has interrupted my life. A lot of times while I was in the middle of doing some thing, my relapse came and I had to cease work. With my English qualification level, if I didn’t have the illness, maybe I could get a degree and have a good career like some of my friends and who knows ‘I might be somebody!’ Nevertheless I have to accept what I am and who I am. When I look around, I see some other people suffering from other disability, and then I think I am still quite a lucky guy.
Some migrants have become more successful by attending TAFE courses and later become semi-skilled or skilled workers such as handy man, plumber, electrician, mechanic, bricklayer etc. Please note that people suffering mental illness including me could not concentrate well and could not use their mind too much to study and go under training. I often feel frustrated that I could not study like other normal people.
Afterwards my wife continued to work full time and I was only working part time and the family had a happy life. I would like to mention that from the time when our family set feet in Australia until 1994, our family of five members at some stage we only had one vehicle and we still managed well. We had to work it out who would catch the train and who would drive. I must give my compliment to my lovely three children for their patience and endurance throughout the years especially in 1994 and onwards I was only working part time.
I think I would like to give my compliment to my three children. They had to walk 15-17 minutes to the railway station to catch the train to school especially they had to travel 50 minutes by train to the city when they studied at university and they had never ever complained to us. Unlike other children from better off parents who acted as taxi drivers to drive their children to catch the train or even take them to school and got picked up after school. My children were never jealous about their friends from better off parents who could afford to purchase brand name clothes and shoes for their children and some of their parents could even afford to purchase brand new vehicles for their children! I think my wife and I are very proud of our three children.
In December 1994, my mother, her in-law from America and my elder sister from Hong Kong came to Australia to see how our family was doing in Australia. My mother was very happy to see my family and I think she must have been very pleased that she had a very intelligent daughter-in-law and well behaved grandchildren. She was 82 years then. We briefly mentioned about my illness because we did not want her to get worried because of her age and live thousands and thousand miles away from Australia.
I think I have to go to the main topic again, that is my mental illness. I was diagnosed that I suffer from depression and the psychiatrist in hospital prescribed me an-ti depression tablets called ‘Tofranil’. I was slowly recovering from my illness after staying in hospital for two months. I remember years ago after each relapse, I was back on my feet much quicker and I was back to work again. Even now it seems to me nobody even the health professionals could not answer my question in details. I think the very stressful job of operating a cleaning business must have caused a very serious impact on the functioning of my brain.
Two days before I was discharged from the hospital, I remember one of the treating doctors called me to his room to check my memory by asking some questions including the following two questions:
- Do you think life is worth living?
- Who is the Prime Minister of Australia?
I have been quite an active person in my life and I like activities. For the first few months I was staying at home recovering from my illness, I was feeling nervous, restless and depressed. When I felt depressed, I isolated myself by staying in my bedroom, not doing routine work, taking shower or doing cooking. I was lack of energy and motivation. After I was discharged from the hospital, the Fairfield Mental Health Team had assigned a case manager to follow up my case. I think the psychiatrists must have held a meeting to discuss my illness and I was diagnosed as suffering from ‘major depression’. I was taking anti-depression tablets only.
During the period of time from 1994 to 1999, I was mainly taking anti-depression tablets and I would say my condition was not too bad. In 1995, I started participating leisure activities at Fairfield Rehabilitation Centre and Liverpool Leisure Centre that is now called ‘Flowerdale Cottage’ and the leisure activities had helped me recover from my illness quicker because I had a chance to talk with the staff and my friends who were on the same boat as I. I could make friends and exchange our experiences and learn from experiences.
For my points of view and I think the mental health professionals would agree with this idea too. By attending the leisure activities at Fairfield Rehabilitation Centre and Flowerdale Cottage will help the consumers or patients recover more quickly than isolating oneself by staying at home and doing nothing. My experience is to get out of the house and do something such as going to shopping centre, listen to relaxing CD’s or go to a movie etc. The mental health staff should encourage the patients to attend leisure programs at Fairfield Rehabilitation Centre and Flowerdale Cottage so that they would get back to their feet quicker.
I have also seen several psychiatrists during that time because some of the doctors were transferred to work somewhere else. Whenever I had a relapse, my psychiatrist would increase one to two tablets and once I got better I was back to the normal dose again.
During that period of time, I had one or two relapses each year and each time lasted for a week or a little more. After each relapse, I was quite well and had quite a bit of activities such as housekeeping and mowing the lawn etc. just like other normal people.
I remember sometime in 1995 when I visited one of the psychiatrists at Fairfield Mental Team, I asked her a funny question. I asked her why I had to suffer from this kind of illness but not other illnesses. I thought that my illness at that time must have bothered and annoyed me quite a bit. She comforted me by saying that there were a lot of other illnesses were much worse than mental illness. She advised me to be patient and told me that my case was quite mild in comparison with other cases.
I also remember on one occasion when I visited the psychiatrist at Fairfield Mental Health Team, the doctor asked my permission whether a psychiatrist student be allowed during the time of the counselling and I remembered my treating doctor told the student that ‘my condition was still on a rocky road.’ It meant that I still got a long way to go before my condition was more stable.
As days passed by, my condition had improved quite a bit and I was quite happy about the progress of my illness. For the first five years after I was discharged from the hospital, I often mentioned to myself: ‘it has been one year, two years, three years, four years, five years since I was out of the hospital.’ After the fifth year, I stopped counting because I thought my condition was quite stable now.
I think I have to be very graceful for the support given by my wife and my three children especially my youngest son during the time of relapse. I think when my relapse came; I was feeling more depressed than hypoactive. My youngest son’s bedroom was next to mine and had always supported and encouraged me whenever I was sick. He is just a wonderful kid! Even in his stressful time to prepare his HSC exam, he still took time to talk to me and encourage me.
Something that I never understand even now. I have been asking quite a few psychiatrists, psychologists, occupation therapists and other health professionals that why I did not have a full recovery so that I could go back to the work forces like other normal people, unfortunately none of them were able to give me a proper answer but they indicated that I have managed my sickness quite well and I should be happy about the progress of my sickness. In mental illness, everybody’s condition is different
For some unknown reasons and I think partly was due to my illness. From 1996, my relationship with my wife was going down hill. I suggested to her that we went to see the psychologist for help at Fairfield Rehabilitation Centre and she agreed. We only visited the psychologist for one session only and that was it. How could one session of counselling be enough to sort out our difference? I remember it was the student psychologist conducted the counselling.
13 years on, I still could not hold back my anger because of that stupid psychologist student. I think my wife has been very stubborn and actually she had some sort of emotional problem too however she would not admit it. In life, everybody makes mistakes. The reality is that whether he or she likes to correct his or her mistakes. Since that time we seldom had a good communication and our relation was on a rocky road although we have been living under one roof.
At the beginning, I intended to get my children to be involved in helping us to sort out the differences but they refused to do so. For my points of view, children, relatives and good friends could be involved in sorting out our difference. Although we have differences, yet we always respect each other, we rarely end up in a heated argument. While I have been casual and humble however she is used to be well dressed. Recently one of my close friends in America told me that it was normal that ladies like to be well dressedand sometimes even over-dressed.
Occasionally if I had said something or did something wrong, I always asked her ‘apology’ or I wrote a short note and sometimes I bought her a bunch of flower and put it on the kitchen table. The note read like this: ‘I am sorry that I have said or done something wrong yesterday, please forgive me.’ Again it was one of my close friends in America suggested to me I should have given the bunch of flower to her personally. Nevertheless, our relationship has improved quite a bit in recent years thanks to the counselling of our older son in Switzerland.
It was some time in 1998, some of schoolmates, the couples from America came to Australia on holiday and we had some sort of friendship reunion and from the couples, I had obtained some of my classmates’ addresses and telephone numbers. Afterwards I was able to keep in touch with my classmates, some of them we had not contacted for more than 15 years and a couple of them 41 years. In 1998, while I was holidaying in America, I flied from Los Angeles to Houston, Texas to visit them and we were so thrilled to see each other. Again in 2002, I went to Houston to see them again on the occasion of one of my classmate’s son wedding.
It was not until the year of 2000, I was diagnosed that I was suffering from ‘bi-polar mood disorder.’ and I was taking ‘lithium’ plus anti-depression tablets. ‘Lithium’ is said to be an efficient medication to treat ‘bi-polar mood disorder’ and in the next 6-7 years I had enjoyed good health and no relapses were reported during this period of time.
However ‘lithium’ had done some damage to my kidney after I had a blood test, so in the middle of 2007, I started taking ‘epilim’ instead and I have been enjoying good health. My three children understand mental illness quite well and every now and then they remind me not to do too much or too little. For my part, I have been trying to manage my illness as best as I can.
At the beginning of 2002, I enrolled in level I computer course at Liverpool TAFE. The course was specially designed for students with disability such as mental illness and the course was taught in a slow pace. After completed level I, I continued to study level II in the following year. After I completed the two courses, my literacy and computer teachers suggested to me that I should enrol in the ‘Basic Adult Education’ to improve my writing, spelling and pronunciation etc.
After attending the ‘Basic Adult Education’ course for 6 months, my teacher discovered that my writing was quite good and he encouraged me to do some writings. At the beginning my writings were not quite matured however as days passed by, my writing skills have improved thanks to the guidance of my teacher. For the last four years or so, I have been writing short humorous stories.
My first two books titled ‘The Two Boys and I.’ is almost completed and I need to promote my writings on the website so that I will get more readers to have a chance to know me before I publish it. My third book is my real life story titled ‘My Little Story.’ ‘My Little Story’ is the main article of my third book, ‘My Little Story’, there are some articles such as ‘A tribute to my dear father’, ‘A tribute to my dear mother’, ‘This is your story, my dearest oldest sister’ and ‘This is your special story, my dearest older sister!’ and some other real life stories. By the way I did write some Chinese writings while I was in Middle High School in my home city, Danang from 1957 to 1960 and English High School in Saigon from 1962 to 1964 and some of my articles were printed in the Chinese newspaper at that time.
I think the reasons I go on the adventure on writings are just a hobby or pleasure and I think if my dream of publishing some books can be realized, I will be on top of the tree!
In the issue of mental illness, once you change your medication, it takes you a month of a couple of months to be used to your new medication and become stable again. I managed the change of medication quite all right. I remember I had taken a few days off from work because I was not feeling well.
In August last year, for some unknown reasons, I had a quite severe relapse. My youngest son asked me to write a big note and asked me to stick on the wall in the kitchen so every time I passed by, I could look at it and reminded me what to do. The note reads like this: ‘when I feel very depressed, it does not mean it is the end of the world. Just be patient and don’t put too much pressure on me. I will get better. There is light at the end of the tunnel.’
Today I would hereby share this experience with those people suffering from mental illness. The medication takes a couple of weeks to respond. Also you must be strong, you have to try again, again and again to manage your illness. In addition to the health professionals’ help and medication, you are the one playing a very important role in recovery.
I also had a quite bad relapse after my youngest son’s wedding on Australia Day, 26th January 2007. The reasons triggered my relapse were that I had been working too hard in painting the whole house, inside out single-handedly.
At the beginning of February, I plunged into quite deep depression. I was feeling very depressed and for almost 3 weeks I did not get out of my room. I did not have much appetite. Sometimes I did not sleep much but other times I slept a lot. I called my case manager and he booked me to see a psychiatrist from Liverpool because the psychiatrist who used to see me was on holiday. He prescribed me some medication that I could not remember the name. The medication made me get out of depression very quickly, however once I got out of depression, I became very hypoactive. I think my wife in Australia and my daughter who came all the way from Ireland for holiday could not stand my being hypoactive.
In addition to visiting the Psychologist at Fairfield Rehabilitation Centre to work out my psychological feelings, I had also read some brochures on psychology for research purpose. Most recently, I had asked my classmate’s advice on relationship, he advised me that whenever I was talking to my wife or my children, I should speak in a ‘right tone’ (softly and nicely spoken) and I think he is right.
I just briefly go into more details about the relationship between my wife and me. After she moved out sometime in February 2007 and finally she decided to move back to our residence after consultation with our children last July. I told her if she wanted to stay under one roof, it was all right with me however if she did not want to stay, that was fine with me too. I would say our relationship has not been too bad in comparison with other people. I have seen a lot of people once they have separated, they would go in separate ways. Although we are separated, we have remained friends. She has been doing her own activities and I do mine. It seems to me that our relationship has been on the mend.
I think I have to go back to the main topic again, that is my mental illness. At the end of August last year, I had a fairly bad relapse because I had been working a little bit too hard. I felt quite depressed and I had suicide thoughts too. I asked my youngest son, who was living in Sydney whether I should be admitted to the hospital for treatment; he rejected my idea straight away. He told me that I should just be patient and I would get better soon.
He also reminded me how sick I was years ago and this relapse was nothing in comparing with the serious illness I had experienced during the time I was in hospital in March 1994. I visited the psychiatrist and once again, it was my three children’s support and encouragement particularly my youngest son living in Sydney. A couple of weeks later, I was back on my feet again.
He also asked me to write ‘My relapse story.’ on the computer and asked me to ready the story whenever I had a relapse. It really helps me control and manage illness better. I often listen to relation CD’s for relaxation. I also have faith. Whenever I feel stressed or encounter obstacles in life, I always pray to God to help me go through the difficult time.
So my dear friends, if you are suffering from some kind of mental illness, don’t be disappointed or desperate because you are not alone and in most case they can be treated. If you need help, call information hotline on 1300-22-4636 or visit www.beyondblud,org.au I hope you will stay well.
I must give my special compliment to my youngest living in Sydney who is always ready to support and encourage me. Without his support and encouragement, I don’t think my mental state would be as stable as I have been.
(25) The life of our three children in Australia.
As time passed by, our only daughter graduated in pharmacy at Sydney University in 1998. At first, we did not think she could not make it since she was such a casual girl and did not pay much attention in her study. When she was only 14 years old, she was already looking for casual job to get extra money to spend because my wife and I did not give her enough pocket money. To everybody’s surprise, she was lucky to pass the HSC with high points.
She nearly quit university when she was in the second year. During the holiday, she was working for Apollo Blind Manufacturer at Flemington in Sydney for just two days and she was scared to death because the manual job at the workshop was just too hard for her to handle. From then on, she concentrated in her study and later she graduated with a degree because she learned a good lesson by working for Apollo blind manufacturer for just two days. She realised the importance of education, because the more education she received, the better off she would be in the future.
In 2000, my youngest son graduated from University of Technology of Sydney in Art & Communications. Ever since he was a little boy, he has always been trying his best in his study and he always got good results. In 2003, he came top of the Mandarin class. As soon as he graduated in 2000, he started working for ABC corporate and due to his good performance he got quite a few pay raises and promotions in a not too long period. He is a brilliant young man. My youngest son recently obtained a master degree in Art & Communications in 2003 at University of Technology in Sydney.
My older son is a brilliant young man too, who likes to travel, swim, dive and bungy jump and other sports. He studied according to his special pace. Once he studied the course for a couple of years and later found it uninteresting, then he studied another course or perhaps after studying for a couple of years, he found it a bit too stressful, then he stopped going to university temporarily for two years and then went back to university. Believe it or not, it took him almost ten years to get a degree with the encouragement of the whole family.
My older son is quite a broadminded person and has good communication skills. He has been involved in quite a lot of community work and he likes to socialise with people. Since our older son and our daughter like travelling and after working in Australia for a few years after graduation, they went to work in Europe. My older son is living and working in Switzerland and my daughter in Ireland.
Talking about my youngest son, I have quite an interesting story to tell. When he was a little kid, he was quite a fussy eater, sometimes if he did not take the food he was given, then he hid the food away and when his parents or brother or sister were not around, he would find an opportunity to throw out the unwanted food out of the window to the rear of the Shell service station. Once I suspected that he threw out a KFC drumstick, I had to use the torch to look for the drumstick. It was too dark and I could not find the drumstick and no penalty was applied to him. I think he must have been laughing because he could get out of the punishment.
He was very strict about time. If he attended class or meeting, he usually arrived at the scene about 10 minutes earlier. Once I came home about 10 minutes due to the traffic to meet the handy man and the latter had gone. He was quite upset. All I could say was ‘Sorry’ but my son said that it was not good enough. From this point, you can see that he is very strict about time. His slogan reads like this: ‘Punctuality, on time, every time and all the time.’
There were a lot of stories about my daughter. She is a casual and out going girl. Ever since she was a little kid, she already made headlines in the family. She was looking for a job as assistant hairdresser when she was only 13 or 14 years old in order to earn some extra pocket money. In her study, she liked burning the midnight oil yet she always passed the exams with good points.
During the time to prepare for the HSC exams and university exams, my wife usually had to sleep beside her to keep her company and every now and then made her a cup of coffee or Chinese instant noodle. Sometimes my wife even had to drive to Warwick Farm to purchase a Double Whopper with cheese. Oh, what a wonderful daughter we have! Yet we did not mind at all to encourage her.
I remember a conversation between her and me quite well, I think she was in year 12, I asked what would she do when she finished high school, without the second thought, she said: ‘ I will become a policewoman.’ Until now I still don’t know whether she was joking or really had the intention to become a policewoman at that time. I think it would be very interesting if she had joined the police force.
(26) My terrifying escape from death.
In October 1999, I was very lucky to escape from death. When I was driving my car approaching George River national park near Padstow and I thought I must have fallen asleep. When I woke up, I found that my vehicle landed on the embankment and trees and branches surrounded me. It was lucky that I was completely unhurt, I did not hit any other vehicle and any person and I think it was just luck and with God’s blessing too. The incident took place 9 years ago, but when October is approaching, the horrifying and scary feeling is always in my mind.
(27) The animal loving family.
Our family is kind of animal loving especially dogs and birds. For the interest of our children and since I was working part time, our family raised a puppy for the Guide Association for 12 months and after that we handed over to the Guide Dog Association for 3-month training before she became a guide dog.
Her name was ‘Jade’. I remember it was one afternoon in June 1997, ‘Jade’ was in the lounge with us and she was behaving a little disobedient, I said that: ‘you’re a naughty girl!’ moments later my son complained that: “You people discriminate against black!” Oh dear! What a funny expression!
When we successfully raised ‘Jade’ and later became a guide dog. Once again, it was the children who talked us into raising another puppy but this time it was a little bit disappointing. The puppy we raised could not pass the training and he became a ‘Rejected’ guide dog. A week later, the Guide Dog Association rang us to see if we were interested in taking the ‘Rejected guide dog’ as a family dog, before I made up my mind, my children had already said ‘Yes’.
The word ‘Yes’ made him stay with the family for 11 years. His name was ‘Falcon’; we called him ‘Big Brother’. He was such a tame obedient family dog being well looked after by every member of the family. His weak point was his bad eating habits; he seemed to swallow his food instead of chewing it.
Our lovely family dog passed away on 13th March 2008 due to old age and sickness. He suffered from arthritis. The whole family was very emotional. I called my older son in Switzerland and he burst into tears when he heard the sad news, so did our daughter, who was holidaying in Queensland. I had written a special story about ‘Falcon’ in memory of his departure. We took him to the veterinary for cremation and his ashes were put in a jar and we place it under the tree where he used to play.
After we had ‘Falcon’ for 5 years, we had another ‘golden retriever’ breed who was originally from the Monastery in Flemington and his name is ‘Sam’, and he was a little over one year old. Since he has fluffy hair, so we call him ‘Fluffy Sam’ or ‘Little Brother’. Now each of them had a companion and they were not lonely any more and they became ‘Two good brothers’.
Before ‘Fluffy Sam’ came to our family, I usually walked ‘Falcon’ twice a day and now we had another family dog and I wondered what I should do. After thinking for some time, I decided to take both of them for a walk at the same time. It was a little bit of challenge for me and thanks to the two family dogs; I am quite fit for my age. It was easier for me to handle ‘Falcon’ than his ‘Little Brother’, ‘Fluffy Sam’, who for unknown reasons walked side way and was a little disobedient.
Not until recently I walked one dog at a time because sometimes it was a little hard for me to handle two dogs at a time and for safety reason too. Since ‘Falcon’ passed away, I am a lonely master and ‘Fluffy Sam’ became a lonely ‘Little Brother’. For the first few days, ‘Fluffy Sam’ seemed to be a little bit lonely and bored and was wondering where his older brother had gone.
We have an aviary under the giant pine tree in the backyard. It housed quite a few finches and canaries. However we on housed them for some time because we discovered that the mice got into the aviary and ate them. My wife bought some budgies some years ago. Instead of putting them in the birdcage, she let them fly around the lounge, kitchen, and hallway and in our bedrooms.
A lot of times the birds followed my wife and she put them on her shoulders and fed them. A few birds did fly away when we opened the front door and after a few incidents and we felt heart-broken when they flew away. Some of the budgies died because of sickness or old age, my family would hold a little farewell ceremony to farewell them to rest. After that, we stopped having birds around the house, because we felt so sad when they flew away.
(28) Some more stories about our children.
Both my wife and I were glad that our children were doing well at university and after graduation; they all have a good career. In 1992, I made my first trip to America to see my mother, my older brother, my two younger sisters and heaps of nephews & nieces living in Los Angels and San Diego. I was so happy to see the family members again especially my mother.
I would like to give my compliments to my three children, when they were little kids, teenagers and grown up, they did not ask us to purchase different kinds of toys like other children and fancy clothes. They were quite happy with what they had and never asked for too much. They walked a fair way to catch a train to go to school or work without any complaint. My wife and I are very proud of our children.
(29) My mother visited Australia in 1994
My mother came to visit us in December 1994 and she was happy to see us including her three grandchildren. At the age of 82, mother was looking in good health and active and she enjoyed her stay in Australia a lot. In 1992, I paid I went to America for the first time to see my mother, sisters and brother there. In 1998 and 2001 I went to America again to see my family members especially my mother. In August 2003, my youngest son and I travelled to America to see my mother because she was quite ill after an operation and soon she passed away.
During her stay in Australia, we have taken her and her in-law to have sightseeing such as Opera House, Sydney Harbour, Sydney Bridge, and Manly beach, Bondi beach. She also travelled to Canberra and Brisbane. She was quite impressed what she had seen in Australia and was happy our family was settled well in our new ‘Homeland.’
All the family members were quite sad about her departure because she was such a great strong-minded intelligent hard-working mother, grandmother and great grandmother. She will always be remembered. During the time she was living in America, she had been to China twice and Vietnam once to visit friends and relatives there.
(30) My eldest sister and my older brother passed away.
My eldest sister and her family immigrated to America in 1993 sponsored by their daughter and two sons who travelled on the same boat with us in 1979. My eldest sister passed away in October 1996 after a stroke and she was our first family member to die. She was a quiet intelligent lady like my mother and we were very sad that she passed away only after immigrating to America for 3 years. She already had kidney sickness while she was in Vietnam.
A year later my older brother passed away due to cancer. My older brother was quite a casual man; he did not worry much and sometimes even depended on my mother while they were living in Vietnam. In 1998, my uncle passed away also in America. As we grew older, there news of our friends and relatives passing away was quite often.
(31) About my mother-in-law.
My mother-in-law immigrated to Australia in 1991, we were so happy to see her again in a foreign country after 12 years of separation. She enjoyed her stay in Australia surrounded by son, daughters and grand children. She was a friendly and helpful lady and a good mother, who always looked after her children. She had three daughters and one son and all of them have children. She had a daughter and her family living in Omaha, Nebraska in America. She was always worried about her daughter and her family’s well being although she had a daughter and a son and their family living in Australia.
She had a car accident in 1998 and it was lucky that she only got minor injury. Late 1998 had cancer and passed away in 1999 after a short illness. In 1998, she made a trip to America to see her daughter and her family in America. Although she did not speak or understand English well, however she dared to travel on her own by bus, train or by ferry because she liked to go out. Once My elder son ran into her in a Manly bound ferry and he was so surprised.
During the time Vietnam still did not have open door policy, my older sister’s company in Hong Kong was trading with the Vietnamese government and quite often she visited Vietnam. Whenever my older sister arrived there, she gave her a big welcome by holding some sort of banquet and my sister was greatly impressed.
(32) Time goes by quickly, our family has been in Australia for almost 30 years now.
Sometimes I am sitting on the veranda wondering that I must have been better off if I did not have a sickness. The sickness has interrupted my life and also made me unable to realise my dream, a dream to become famous and wealthy. Nevertheless, in comparison with other people around the world, I am still the lucky person.
When I was young, I had a big dream, a big dream to become famous and wealthy. For some various reasons, I could not realise my big dream. Now I have a small dream, a dream to help the less fortunate people and people in need. I always open my heart and my arms to help others and now I am happy and contented.
Time passes by very quickly; our family has been in this country for almost 30 years now. No matter how far away from home, we still remember our ‘Home Land’- ‘Vietnam’. My wife and my youngest son have visited our ‘Home Land’ twice. They had also visited ‘Temora’ where we were settled when we came to this lucky country. I think I will visit my ‘ Mother Land’ some day in the near future. When we came to this country, we were in the late 30’s and the children were just little kids and look at us, we are in the early 60’s.
There is a saying ‘It is never too old to learn’. A few years ago, I started studying computer class and I did it for two years. I also attended an eight-week course of Spanish. If I did not go to the computer course, I don’t think that I can write ‘My Little Story’ for you to read.
My wife and I have always tried hard to raise our three children in a friendly and healthy environment and we hope that they will do the same to raise their children in the future.
(33) My recent relapse in depression.
Can I share some experience of my most recent relapse of my depression? My depression this time lasted quite some time and it was so bad that I could not do the cooking, washing dishes and clothes. I even could not get out of bed; I stayed indoor most of the time feeling depressed, anxious and kind of agitated and impatient. My case manager, my psychiatrist, my psychologist and my family asked me to be patient and not to put too much pressure on my sickness and time would heel.
With the advice and encouragement of the health professionals and my family, I was slowly and finally getting out of the blue. I even wrote some slogans and stuck on the wall in the kitchen such as: ‘When I feel very depressed, it doesn’t mean that it is the end of the world.’ ‘Please bear in mind that you will get better.’ ‘Do cheer up, get up and do some physical exercise, it will help you recover more quickly.’ ‘There is light at the end of the tunnel.’
I would like to share some experience with those people, who suffer from mental illness, do try to manage your illness well and seek help from health professionals if you are not feeling well. In most cases, mental illness could be treated.
(34) Are we living in Australia?
Our family often likes to help people in need, my wife and I have been doing some volunteer work for a number of years now and we have been involved in some charity work as well. We often encourage our children to help other people in need and make contribution to society.
Quite often, when I do some shopping in the shopping centre where I see quite a lot different faces from different backgrounds around the world, first I hesitate for a moment and I often I ask myself: ‘Where am I.’ And when I look up, I realise that I am living in a multicultural city, Sydney in Australia. Oh, how lucky we are living in a lucky country like Australia!
‘Helping people is a source of happiness.’ and that is the reason whyI have been doing volunteer work since I have recovered from my sickness in1998. ‘So be strong, try again and again and you will overcome your problem.’ I think I would like to use a Chinese proverb ‘Helping people makes one happy’’ to end ‘My Little Story.’ I do hope you will enjoy reading my story as I have enjoyed writing this story.
Written by Ken Hua 1st May 2008
1st revision 8th January 2011
2nd revision 18th December 2012
Ken's Blog 
Rest In Peace Chairman.
I truly can’t believe you’re gone.
So sad to hear this news. Thank you Chairman.
So sorry for the loss for your family.